Time for a Giveaway!

 

 

 

 If you're here, chances are, you found the Rafflecopter giveaway! I have made 43 (I meant to make only 40, lol) polymer clay and wire stitch markers. They are gem and cabochon cut, in various shapes and sizes, coated with a glitter varnish, and you might win them if you enter my giveaway before 12 am (UTC +2) October 31st!

This giveaway is open to everyone where your local laws allow! Simply leave a comment in the section below this post that you are entering, and it will earn you 5 points! At the end of the giveaway, all points for completing tasks in the giveaway are tallied, and a winner will be chosen and notified. I will pop these babies in the mail the next day! Speaking of babies, these are NOT toys, and are not meant for children under the age of 10.

Please read the legal terms contained in the giveaway link, they are for our mutual protection. Make sure to enter in as many ways as you can to earn the most points, but remember, only comment here once! Good luck!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Official Mother of a 20 Year Old

In honor of her birthday, I've written a song for my daughter, Marina Avara Sanchez.

It's called "The Adventure Begins," and it's a little Cumbia, a little Reggae, a dash of intrigue, and all Marina. Happy birthday, princessa.

Oh My Goth!

I am streaming the creation of a Victorian Horse Drawn Hearse, which will house a set of custom skeleton xylophones I am building! I'm not a paid subscriber, so my videos aren't permanently available. But, look me up at https://www.twitch.tv/lillekraake and you can watch me live.

How is that relevant to this blog? I will be wearing some of the items I've written patterns for in this blog during the performance videos, see if you can spot them when they appear! First person to comment in the Twitch chat stream on which items and videos they see them in will win an autographed poster! More on that giveaway coming soon.

Heart Shaped Mad Hatter Fascinator

Look at me, getting a pattern out in May! I've got three more in the works, which will get me caught up for the current months. My daughter and a couple of friends will be modeling them, while yours truly is modeling this fab hat.

I'm working with my husband to set up my professional website, so be on the look out for the link! I'm also picking up a vintage baby carriage that I will be converting into a mini Victorian hearse, which will house a skeleton xylophone I am building. It will be for personal use, but depending on how expensive it will be to make and ship, I might make a couple extra for sale to collectors. And of course, I accept custom orders! I'll be sharing pictures as I build, and a link to the Twitch stream I'll host while building it.

It's April (No Foolin'!)

Well, my lovelies, while our country (that is, Norway) has been on lockdown, I've made a few discoveries. One, and the most pertinent to this blog is, I can't manage to write a pattern a month. Not only can I not finish the pattern I was originally writing (for February) until I can consult in person with my model once more, but all the other projects in my life demand time too. Imagine that!

So, with much chagrin, I am modifying my content upload schedule. There will be twelve patterns per year. They will not come monthly, but as soon as I finish them. I am working on a fascinator that can be made as an accessory to the pattern that is on the back burner for right now, because it can be worn with other outfits. I still plan to release a pattern for a gorgeous crocheted spring top with macrame options.

Thank you for your patience, please don't hate me.

Also, Happy Easter. He is risen!

Bacon

To cheer everyone up in these dark times, a music video by me and my daughter. Please enjoy and share the heck out of it!

Leap Year

This year is off to a roaring start - one might say we're once again in the roaring 20's? All puns aside, life is throwing a ton of curve balls my way, and I play tennis, lol. SO!

I've decided that in order to keep up with my blog (and in keeping with this year being a leap year,) I am skipping February, and putting the pattern I intended for it (The Racerback Sweetheart Tank Top) and March's pattern in the same month. I will also be posting the patterns at the end of the month, rather than the beginning. The tank top does have a few hearts in it, but changing colors can make it suitable to wear year round. March's pattern will be a Crocodile Stitch Camisole, which will require more yarn than you may be used to using, because it calls for bedspread weight crochet cotton, but will be light and daring, perfect for frolicking about in the Spring!

Thanks for your patience, and please let me know if you have an idea for April's pattern. May will be a cute pair of boot tops! Also, the call for models is still open, please consider applying!

Winter Queen Headband

I am SO sorry this is late. 5 dental surgeries and a host of issues related to creating this pattern are my only excuse. But please enjoy this free headband pattern. Because Google Docs doesn't know how to embed pdfs, the formatting in the embedded pattern below is not quite correct. Downloading the pdf from the jump button above will ensure the file is correctly formatted for printing. As ever, if you have questions regarding the pattern, please read the comment section of this post before asking. Someone else may have already asked and received an answer. Happy knitting!

*Brioche 101  *Avoid a Gap at the Joining in Circular Knitting *Conventional Brioche Bind Off

Gender Neutral Open Call

This blog needs models who wear larger sizes in horizontal proportions. Use of photos depicting models wearing items from the patterns written for this blog will be granted to me for use in this blog, the patterns themselves, promotion on my social media accounts and the annual books published containing the patterns. Models will receive the valuable consideration of the items they model and an exclusive acrylic ACEO painting on upcycled card stock of the models wearing said items, created by me and shipped to the models free of charge.

For Everyone's Safety 

• Read everything in this post carefully, and ask questions not covered by this post in the comment area below. Bear in mind that I am not a lawyer, and I do not offer legal advice. You must meet every requisite in the section pertaining to your legal age and follow every rule in the safety section in order to be a model for The Curvy Hooker, without exception. Failure to do so means you will not model for this blog.

• Legal proof of identity is required in order to audition as a model for this blog. The only acceptable form of proof is a notarized Affidavit of Identity. It must be scanned (not photographed) and emailed to me in order to audition. If you become a model for this blog, I will need the physical form for my records as well. Potential models living in the United States of America can download and print an Affidavit of Identity from Legal Templates. Unfortunately, I cannot provide links to websites that provide Affidavit of Identity templates for any other country. If you have any questions about how to provide me with a notarized Affidavit of Identity from any other country, please contact a lawyer in your area.
• Do not share your personal information in the comment (or any public) area. This includes (but is not limited to) age, address, location, contact info. In order to audition, see the requisites in the section pertaining to your legal age below, and follow them to the letter.
• All models (and parents/legal guardians of models under the age of 18,) must sign both model and photo release forms provided by me. This protects the model, the photographer and myself in case of any legal disputes. Please provide them to me in the same manner as the proof of identity. Refusal to sign one or both forms means you will not model for this blog.
• No nude or explicit photos of any kind in any age category. If I am sent photos of such nature featuring models under the age of 18, they will be sent directly to the authorities of the sender's national origin. Swimwear and lingerie models must be 18 or older, no exceptions.
• Models are forbidden to submit photographs that 1. depict any other person 2. use locations which trespass on private and/or dangerous property 3. use poses that are harmful to themselves, others and/or animals 4. show model wearing makeup done with intent to insult or harass people of any ethnicity 5. use gestures and/or symbols that are racist and/or explicit 6. depict model wearing, consuming, holding and/or posing near anything bearing trademarks, brands or logos 7. depict model near, holding and/or consuming any alcohol, smoking and/or using vaping products, street and prescription drugs and paraphernalia related to their use, or weapons, whether they are legal in your country or not, or engaging in illegal activities.
• Models with tattoos, piercings and other body modifications are welcome, but if they are not suitable for all audiences, models must cover them, wear clear jewelry in their stead, or do not include them in the photos.
• Do NOT under ANY circumstances send me your unsolicited pictures here, to my email, in comments on any of my social media accounts, or anywhere else. 

Models under the age of 18 

•  Are not allowed to contact me directly. If they wish to model for The Curvy Hooker, their parent or legal guardian must contact me on their behalf. If you are legally emancipated, you must provide legal proof of emancipation before you may apply without the consent of the above mentioned. 
• Must have accurate stats provided for them to me on a per item basis (growth spurts happen, and models must be comfortable.)
• Can pose for a maximum of two (2) items in any given year until they turn 18.

Models over the age of 18

• Can pose for a maximum of four (4) items in any given year.
• Must provide accurate stats. 
• Photos of swimwear and lingerie models will be cropped so that models' faces are not visible unless the model requests otherwise.

Also, models of every age, gender, race, sexual orientation, religion, occupation, mental and physical condition

• Must be treated with respect
• Must not be forced to smile.
• Must avoid jewelry, make up or other clothing that detracts from the focus on the item they are modeling for this blog. When in doubt, feel free to consult with me before posing. Religious clothing may be worn as long as it does not obscure the item being modeled. If the item must be worn over such clothing, additional measurements will be required for proper fit.
• Must be photographed in natural light, whether sunny or overcast, in appropriate local weather for the season of the item.
• May have no, some, or lots of hair and/or marks anywhere on their bodies.
• Can request that their name be abbreviated for the sake of privacy, safety and personal comfort. 

If you are binding, please do so safely, and provide measurements when both bound and unbound if you are modeling any item worn over the torso. You must be comfortable and safe, and no judgements will be made.



There are quite a few guidelines, but if you are interested in modeling for this blog and meet all the criteria, please contact me as soon as possible. At present, I need a model for a winter headband, leg warmers, a romantic asymmetrical tank top,  a bolero jacket and socks. Once I have enough models for the current year, the call will be closed until the following year.

Happy New Year, Baby!

Welcome to the year 2020, and welcome to my new blog! In my previous post, I explained a bit about its content, and purpose. In this post, I am showing you the basic anatomy of my patterns (cue the wolf whistles!) I will also talk about viewer comment and suggestion etiquette.

Here is the layout of nearly every pattern I will include in this blog (click the image for a larger view in Google Docs, where I will be hosting all patterns from this blog):

If you have any questions or suggestions about the blog, a particular pattern or materials used, please feel free to leave a message. Do not be offended that I must moderate each message, because you know there are spammers out there who LOVE blogs. I'll keep it free of clutter. Please make certain to read comments on my posts before asking a question or making a suggestion. Duplicates of those waste everyone's time, and can be quite frustrating. If you goof and ask a question or make a suggestion someone has already posted, never fear, it won't show up. Of course, if someone has the same idea or question but you need more details, or have a few tweaks to suggest, you are welcome to comment @ the name of the person who posted it first.

Here we go! Have fun, and happy hooking!